Ultimate Brownies

I've found Nirvana. Not the band. (I found the band quite a long time ago.)
I've found brownie Nirvana. Proper dense, fudge-y, no messing, gooey brownies. Now I've not got much of a sweet tooth, I love chocolate and sweets, but to be honest, cake is something that happens with tea at 4pm if I've got company. I do however make an odd exception. And a good gooey brownie is one of them.
Brownies are currently fuelling my PhD, my word count and waistline are expanding under their influence. But with all this brownie munching, I thought it was about time I put the effort into sorting the ultimate brownie.
The following recipe is based on Nigel Slater's recipe from The Observer in 2004. With some additions and deviations of my own.
First things first though. Don't mess about with nuts. Seriously, fucking nuts in a gooey brownie, I don't want crunch, I want gooey chew.
Secondly, I know two packets of Rolos seems excessive, but honestly, by the time you've eaten a sneaky couple out of the packet whilst you chop, you need two packets. And the more you put in, the chewier the brownie.

2 Packs of Rolos, chopped into quarters. (Yes, laborious, yes, worth it.)
300g sugar
250g butter (melted)
200g dark chocolate (melted)
50g chocolate (any, white makes a nice change) chopped into small bits.
3 large eggs plus 1 extra egg yolk (beaten)
50g flour
70g finest quality cocoa powder
½ tsp baking powder



Warm the oven to 180°C.

Line a roasting tin with grease proof paper. Leave some paper up the sides of the tin you can use to lift the brownies out with after cooking. You need to line the tin, these are wet brownies, and don't come out of the tin easily.

Melt the butter, and mix it up with the sugar. Don't arse about with beating the sugar into hard butter, just melt it. It makes things gooier!

Then it is as simple as chucking all the other ingredients into the bowl, finishing with the chocolate chunks and chopped Rolos. Mix everything together well.

Chuck it into the oven for about 30 mins. The brownie will fail the cake test, a skewer won't come out clean. What you are looking for is a cracked top, and a middle that isn't totally liquid.

Remove from the oven and leave to cool. As the brownie cools it shrinks a little and gets gooier. They are lovely warm, or cold. Really chewy.

As Nigel suggests they are good festival fodder , you should get 16 small ish brownies out of this mix.

Enjoy, and thank me later.

Why 'friendly local fishmongers' get on my tits....

I'm trying to eat more fish. I eat plenty of vegetables, enough fruit to keep the government off my back, but to be honest I just can't be arsed with fish. Unless it's deep fried and comes wrapped in greasy paper. I've spent too long in Yorkshire to spend time fucking about with gutting fish when really all I want is it battered and served with chips.
According to Jamie Oliver (don't get me started on that twat) "fish is easy" and according to Hugh Fearnley-Wasshis-Chops we should all be eating the less endangered species in British water, and making sure the likes of Woof, Mackerel, Coley, Gurnard, Pollock, (I could go on...) are up there in our minds with the likes of Cod and Haddock as perfectly lovely fish. And the fact is, they are perfectly lovely fish. However, more often than not in order to get these perfectly lovely fish, one has to go to a fish monger. I don't have a "friendly local fishmonger." I don't really want one. I have a spotty teen in the local Morrisions whom I've finally plucked up the courage to talk to; because you see this is my other problem with fish, it takes courage.
I'm a student, admitedly with an income, but lets be honest, I don't shit money. When I go to the supermarket, more often than not I pick up the pre-packaged meat because it has a sticker on it telling me excactly how much it is going to cost when I get it to the till. I buy my offal from the local butcher with whom I've lost all pretence and who knows I'm only going to buy something if its cheap or if its a special occasion. I don't object to spending money on food, what I object to is asking for two bits of Tuna to make a posh Tuna Nicoise and being informed once its been cut and wrapped I just spent £6 a head on fucking TUNA. JESUS!
Anyway I digress. I wanted to talk about Mackrel.
Mackerel is cheap, honest, and tasty. For dinner for himself and I I bought two Mackerel from afore mentioned spotty teen in Morrisons, he took the heads off and gutted them for me, and charged me no more than £2. Bargain. I didn't have to fuck about with gutting them, or spend a fortune.
I then cooked the Mackerel really simply.
I made two parcels out of tin foil, chucked a Mackrel into each, followed by salt, and plenty of pepper and about a teaspoon of Balsamic vinegar. I then chucked this in the oven. For about 20 mins at about 200 degrees celsius.
Job done.
I then served this with couscous, roasted vegetables and cucumber ribbons (cut with a potato peeler). The Balsamic vinegar reduces a bit and gives the Mackerel the beginnings of a soused (pickled) taste. Yum Yum.
If you dish it up like I have in the photo it looks more impressive than it really is, you could fillet the Mackerel and cook it in the same manner, but like I said, I'm just lazy.

You, Me and The Bougeosie

The summer is upon us. Wimbledon is around the corner and the Great British weather is playing its usual tricks. The garden is in full bloom, and nothing makes the dinner table unless it is full of vegetables and sunshine. The following recipe is a wonderful accompaniment to a summer salad, turning a plate of "rabbit food" as himself so happily calls it into a meal that will satisfy even his appetite for things dunked in butter and cholesterol.

Garlic Dough Balls:
The following recipe serves 4 with a main meal or 6 for pre dinner nibbles. They are perfect served warm with the accompanying butter but also great with olive oil and balsamic vinegar to dunk them in.



250g plain flour (nothing special, I just use the value stuff)
1/2 tsp yeast
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp sugar
2 tsp olive oil
140ml warm water (I use about 40ml boiled water added to cold water in a jug.)

Mix everything in a bowl.
Add the water little by little, you may need a little more, you may need a little less.
When it all comes together as a smooth dough knead for about five minutes. The dough will change in texture whilst you are doing this.
Once kneaded leave the dough in an oiled bowl in a warm place covered with a damp cloth.
The dough can be left to rise for as little as 20 mins or all afternoon. The longer you leave it the better as the yeast has more chance to do its magic.

Once risen you can separate the dough into 16 balls, or 8 sticks and put on an oiled baking tray. This recipe also makes brilliant pizza bases.
If making pizza you don't need to let the dough rise again, otherwise leave the dough somewhere for about 10 mins, (or more if you have time!) Then all you need to do is chuck them in a pre heated oven (180 degrees C) for 10-15 minutes until they are golden brown on the outside.

I serve these with garlic and herb butter:
2tbs Butter
1 tbs Mixed fresh herbs, Basil is particularly good, also oregano, rosemary, you get the idea
Drizzle Olive oil
2-4 cloves garlic (we like LOTS of garlic, but its a personal thing)
Couple of grinds of salt and pepper.
Chuck everything in a bowl, and mix it up. Perfect for dunking.


Continuing the theme of summer I said in my post about The Mountain Goats Live at the Brudenell recently that the support act The Submarines deserved a post all of their own. I was originally sceptical having heard heard that The Submarines provided songs not only for iPod/Phone adverts but also a song for the Nip/Tuck sound track. Most American sound track fodder makes me feel a little ill. I remember the hype for the O.C sound track, and all that really brought us was The Fray and a feeling in the stomach that one only really gets from having eaten too many sweets. However I was pleasantly surprised by The Submarines. California based John Dragonetti and Blake Hazard form a wonderful male/female vocal that is just quintessentially summery but not saccharine. With surf rock undertones evident the lyrical content make The Submarines thoroughly more interesting. You, Me and the Bourgeoisie is perhaps their most well known track, the chirpy melody but with a darker lyric is infectious. Hazards vocal us unfalteringly beautiful both live and on record, and Dragonetti doesn't fail to deliver supporting Hazard's leading vocal with a beautiful backing and utterly wonderful guitar playing.
Their music is undeniably American, and not strictly deep or unusual, the riffs and choruses come where one would expect them, but the songs are up beat, and summery. And when the weather will do what it will, summer may well have to be found in music.

If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake...

I spent my weekend at home, at a first birthday party for my next door neighbours little girl Rosalie.
Birthday parties for little girls require cake, but not wanting to make cupcakes or a victoria sponge, as I knew what my sister and mum would have made I decided to go with macaroons.
Somewhere between a meringue and a biscuit Macaroons are quick to make, but hard to perfect (and I am by no means claiming to have perfected them!) They lend themselves to customisation in terms of flavour and colour and like cupcakes that went before them they are rapidly becoming the new thing to bake fabulous batches of.
For Rosalie I made Rose and Lemon flavoured. The recipe I used was based on this one from Delicious Magazine, with a few additions and alterations of my own.

Rose and Lemon Macaroons

Ingredients
175g icing sugar
125g powdered almonds (finer than ground almonds, usually available in ethnic supermarkets, if you can't find these put ground almonds in a blender and wizz for 30 seconds)
3 large free-range egg whites
50g caster sugar
1/4 tsp Rose essence
1/4 teaspoon red food colouring

For the filling
150g butter, softened
75g icing sugar
zest and juice of half a lemon

In a bowl, whisk the egg whites with a pinch of salt to soft peaks, then gradually whisk in the caster sugar until thick and glossy. Then add 1/4 teaspoon of rose extract and 1/4 teaspoon of red food colouring.

Fold half the powdered almonds and icing sugar into the meringue and mix well. Add the remaining half, making sure you use a spatula to cut and fold the mixture until it is shiny and has a thick, ribbon-like consistency as it falls from the spatula. Spoon into a piping bag fitted with a 1cm plain nozzle.

Line 2 baking sheets with baking paper. Pipe small rounds of the macaroon mixture, about 3cm across, onto the baking sheets. Give the baking sheets a sharp tap on the work surface to ensure a good ‘foot’. Leave to stand at room temperature for 10-15 minutes to form a slight skin. This is important – you should be able to touch them lightly without any mixture sticking to your finger.

Whilst the macaroons are standing heat the oven to 150 degrees centigrade. This will take about as long as it takes the macaroons to set. I usually cook mine for about 12 minutes, try to avoid opening the oven door as this will cause the tops of the macaroons to crack excessively.

Whilst the macaroons are cooking you can make the filling. In a bowl, beat the butter until light and fluffy, then beat in the icing sugar. Add to this the zest and juice of half a lemon. You might need to add a bit more icing sugar (maybe a tablespoon) to make the butter cream thick again. Use to sandwich pairs of macaroons together.

As you can see mine are a bit cracked and uneven but I think it adds to the home made feel of them! They really aren't hard to make and turning up at a party with cakes in tow is always appreciated! Macaroons look lovely presented in a box in rows, or just do as I did, whack them all in a tin and wait for them to be demolished by scores of hungry hands!